Feeling suicidal and feeling pain isn't something to be ashamed of

...it was also out of embarrassment that I could come that close to killing myself.

That is just a reaction to something or to a bunch of things.
Much like chemicals react to each other in certain way under certain circumstances(temperature/pressure): they do what they do, because they are what they are. You are what you are, there's nothing wrong with it, embrace it. Stop trying to be someone else, it just causes stress.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our limits you are pushing yours. There's too much on your plate and it doesn't seem worth the hassle i.e. you are seeing that the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

I have never understood why are people told that quitting a job that doesn't pay enough is cowardice or something. The job in this case being life and the pay being the things worth living through life.

I kinda do get it that people you know might see the thread, but when you think of it: they are people you know, but apparently they don't know you. So why are you giving such a value to their opinion? If they had gone through all that you did, they would react the same = if they lived your life they'd make the same decisions. So they really aren't in no position to judge, whether they realize it or not. Which means, stop caring about them :)