Thursday, November 8, 2018

On tolerance and "saving" a bad person

It's a very noble sentiment and all.. But you can't tolerate the intolerant.

Let me put it this way by using an extreme example: if someone really really REALLY hates you - you can't tolerate that... unless you are suicidal.

Tolerance IS the reason why assholes thrive, the noble hope of finding something good in a person is why abusive relationships continue, why manipulative psychopaths and sociopaths find their victims and why criminal careers are a viable option. Your values are being used against you, your willingness to take responsibility for someone else's recovery is what enables them - they just tell you what you want to hear to make you carry their burden, to make you believe they are going to change.

They aren't going to change if they think they are right.

Pain is what makes people change, but if you are always comforting, forgiving, tolerating and soothing people after their evil deeds - you are taking away the repercussions of their actions, which would the incentive to their change. You are diluting the negative feedback that teaches them not to repeat an action again.

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