So there's a girl I work with. I try and be polite whenever we see each other but every time we sit and talk, she can't go more than 5 minutes without talking about how great the sex was with her BF last night. She has to go into so much detail of about his junk while she's trying to show off these new moves they've been doing etc.
What is going on with this girl? And has anyone here met anyone similar?
Person1:
Attention seeking.
She wants you to imagine yourself in her BFs place to pussy lust over her so she can reject you and place you into orbit.
I'd just tell her I don't think that type of conversation is appropriate for a work environment, if she continues report her.
By the way, never ever, ever...and I mean EVER get involved with a female at work...never.
This. Never get involved. Or how the other guy said it: don't shit where you eat.
Also this:
I'd just tell her I don't think that type of conversation is appropriate for a work environment, if she continues report her.
I'd just tell her I don't think that type of conversation is appropriate for a work environment, if she continues report her.
Anyway, tell her that bragging about her sex life makes you feel uncomfortable, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom and say it like you just smelled a wiff of shit. You know, with that ever so slight disgust on your face. If she starts to tease you and asks playfully "are you jealous?" etc. Then just answer firmly: "it just makes me uncomfortable." You don't have to explain yourself further.
Person2:
Just expanding a little bit on this. Make sure you understand your workplace politics. While reporting to HR is theoretically the right thing to do, it might put you at a disadvantage for future promotions and/or workplace relationships - especially if most of your coworkers are women. Remember, nothing (even by law) is really private. Humans are humans. And women (and cuck men) gossip. Definitely remove yourself from the situation, but ensure you are moving in a way that doesn't cause friction. Be water, my friend.
This is why confront her first with the issue, a few times maybe, and if she doesn't get the hint, then report her. But OP shouldn't threaten her by telling "Stop or I'll tell." "Stop" should be enough, like "no means no" kinda thing. Unless OP wants to hear about her escapades. That is something that OP should seriously think about, does he really want hear that stuff? I bet he doesn't, so he should tell her. I'm sure she'll listen and it will put her in her place.
But OP must be sincere when telling her, and if she doesn't respect that then it is time to escalate things. And please for the love of God(s) do not do anything to get our "respects" like ruin her life over nothing just because it makes an awesome thread. Keep it simple: if you don't want hear sexual innuendos, tell her to stop, if she doesn't comply and you still don't want to listen, then you must do something. Perhaps confront her again. Would her stories be acceptable if gender roles were switched?
By avoiding HR out of fear, gives her and other women more territory. No man complains vs. there have been a few complaints about women sexually harassing men. It's like a park, if people tell stories about gang members occupying that space, people will start to avoid that park, thus giving them territory. But by walking through a park every now and then despite that there's a few guys standing in a ring, will keep them in check, it's like reminding that there are others here too.
People are naturally territorial, once they get used to something they will expect it in the future, I've seen this with gym lockers, public transit seats, social security("I am entitled to have free stuff"), even when replacing the toner cartridge few times at the office out of generosity then receiving angry and frustrated complaints "You haven't/didn't replaced the toner cartridge today/yesterday". With public transit seats I've seen people using physical force to get into their favourite seat, although the whole subway car is empty otherwise. Or rushing in using elbows because someone MIGHT steal "their" seat. On a side note: oddly enough I have only seen post wall women do this.. not men, like I would have expected..
My point is: always challenge, and don't let people get used to have stuff they aren't entitled to. But do it "accidentally", be innocent, play dumb like "Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was something that you were supposed to do when being sexually harassed continuously, I've heard that sexual harassment was a huge problem at workplaces, it shouldn't be ignored and it should be taken seriously."
"Isn't this a public park/transit/locker?" The trick is to ask the question genuinely, innocently, surprised and confused.
You can see this territory thing with teenage kids, they will go as far as someone/something says "No." They are looking what is theirs freely, what is allowed for them with little or no consequences(cost-benefit analysis), and if they have gotten away too many times and have grown accustomed to that, they will try go a little further next time and repeat that, until they will meet a line they don't want to cross. The more territory they have, the more lines they are willing to cross. So the best tactic is to stop that shit before it escalates to uncontrollable proportions.
Sure we all have heard about respondent conditioning, classical conditioning or Pavlov's dog. This is how learning from mistakes works, our society works, laws, schooling system, friendzones and simping works. You've probably heard women talking how men should be trained like dogs or some shit like that. People overall are habitual creatures, use it to your own advantage but don't submit to it to your disadvantage e.g. fear to uphold your personal rights.
OP, just tell the girl bragging about her sex life "No" a few times, if that doesn't work, leave conversation/her company in the middle of her story. Just condition/teach her that she won't gain your attention with those things. And do not care about her rationalizing that shit e.g. gossiping to other that you wouldn't hear about sex, maybe he's a virgin etc. But when the gossip finds you, just casually tell that "the office isn't the place to talk about private sexual matters" and leave it to that. You have told your views, let them make what they want from it.
You maybe could use this situation to get into her pants, by combining "your" ideas of sexual freedom and telling her that sex between two people isn't other people's business, this opens an angle for her to cheat on her boyfriend with no way of getting caught. Here the trick is to just casually mention those values, with no special meaning behind them, like you haven't even thought about having sex with her. Just let her do the math: "this guy believes in open sex + doesn't tell anyone = opportunity." Since you mentioned just casually those things, she thinks she's in control and the only one playing. I only tell you this so you can see the options, by knowing the rules of anything you know how to break them. But do not fuck a colleague, ever.
There is nothing you can benefit from her, nothing. If you have a fling, it will come to an end at some point, but you'll still continue working together. And after that you'll see why sticking a dick to a wet hole wasn't that great accomplishment after all. Once you have nothing to offer her, then there's no point keeping you around or to respect you. Keep that one thing to yourself, the thing that most guys give up freely and you will keep your respect, but women have developed a counter attack to this to protect their fragile ego: friendzone. This way they can still feel superior to you even though they haven't got to your dick. The other is the gay/virgin argument. Women have to rationalize to themselves why you wouldn't have sex with them. They can't stand that they aren't good enough, this is a very basic instinct, because in animal kingdom any male will jump at a chance to fuck a female, unless the female is somehow very defective, disease-ridden or a corpse(though that hasn't been an obstacle in some recorded cases, but that just furthers my point)
So be very casual friends with her, no gifts.. maybe return gifts. But that could escalate. No sex, maybe an occasional coffee(split the check), though that leads to personal questions, thus deepening the bond between you, no dinners, nothing special. She's just a colleague. Women WILL gossip about their men, because that is an instinct as well, to keep a record of quality men and to rank them, so the best man can be chosen.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, fuck only those who you don't know that well, or do not see very often. So they don't have any leverage on you.
Tl;dr: just treat her as your male colleague, no intimate stuff. Just imagine she has a hairy ass and a small smelly unwashed dick full of warts or something. She is of no use to you beyond the professional stuff.
This is why confront her first with the issue, a few times maybe, and if she doesn't get the hint, then report her. But OP shouldn't threaten her by telling "Stop or I'll tell." "Stop" should be enough, like "no means no" kinda thing. Unless OP wants to hear about her escapades. That is something that OP should seriously think about, does he really want hear that stuff? I bet he doesn't, so he should tell her. I'm sure she'll listen and it will put her in her place.
But OP must be sincere when telling her, and if she doesn't respect that then it is time to escalate things. And please for the love of God(s) do not do anything to get our "respects" like ruin her life over nothing just because it makes an awesome thread. Keep it simple: if you don't want hear sexual innuendos, tell her to stop, if she doesn't comply and you still don't want to listen, then you must do something. Perhaps confront her again. Would her stories be acceptable if gender roles were switched?
By avoiding HR out of fear, gives her and other women more territory. No man complains vs. there have been a few complaints about women sexually harassing men. It's like a park, if people tell stories about gang members occupying that space, people will start to avoid that park, thus giving them territory. But by walking through a park every now and then despite that there's a few guys standing in a ring, will keep them in check, it's like reminding that there are others here too.
People are naturally territorial, once they get used to something they will expect it in the future, I've seen this with gym lockers, public transit seats, social security("I am entitled to have free stuff"), even when replacing the toner cartridge few times at the office out of generosity then receiving angry and frustrated complaints "You haven't/didn't replaced the toner cartridge today/yesterday". With public transit seats I've seen people using physical force to get into their favourite seat, although the whole subway car is empty otherwise. Or rushing in using elbows because someone MIGHT steal "their" seat. On a side note: oddly enough I have only seen post wall women do this.. not men, like I would have expected..
My point is: always challenge, and don't let people get used to have stuff they aren't entitled to. But do it "accidentally", be innocent, play dumb like "Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was something that you were supposed to do when being sexually harassed continuously, I've heard that sexual harassment was a huge problem at workplaces, it shouldn't be ignored and it should be taken seriously."
"Isn't this a public park/transit/locker?" The trick is to ask the question genuinely, innocently, surprised and confused.
You can see this territory thing with teenage kids, they will go as far as someone/something says "No." They are looking what is theirs freely, what is allowed for them with little or no consequences(cost-benefit analysis), and if they have gotten away too many times and have grown accustomed to that, they will try go a little further next time and repeat that, until they will meet a line they don't want to cross. The more territory they have, the more lines they are willing to cross. So the best tactic is to stop that shit before it escalates to uncontrollable proportions.
Sure we all have heard about respondent conditioning, classical conditioning or Pavlov's dog. This is how learning from mistakes works, our society works, laws, schooling system, friendzones and simping works. You've probably heard women talking how men should be trained like dogs or some shit like that. People overall are habitual creatures, use it to your own advantage but don't submit to it to your disadvantage e.g. fear to uphold your personal rights.
OP, just tell the girl bragging about her sex life "No" a few times, if that doesn't work, leave conversation/her company in the middle of her story. Just condition/teach her that she won't gain your attention with those things. And do not care about her rationalizing that shit e.g. gossiping to other that you wouldn't hear about sex, maybe he's a virgin etc. But when the gossip finds you, just casually tell that "the office isn't the place to talk about private sexual matters" and leave it to that. You have told your views, let them make what they want from it.
You maybe could use this situation to get into her pants, by combining "your" ideas of sexual freedom and telling her that sex between two people isn't other people's business, this opens an angle for her to cheat on her boyfriend with no way of getting caught. Here the trick is to just casually mention those values, with no special meaning behind them, like you haven't even thought about having sex with her. Just let her do the math: "this guy believes in open sex + doesn't tell anyone = opportunity." Since you mentioned just casually those things, she thinks she's in control and the only one playing. I only tell you this so you can see the options, by knowing the rules of anything you know how to break them. But do not fuck a colleague, ever.
There is nothing you can benefit from her, nothing. If you have a fling, it will come to an end at some point, but you'll still continue working together. And after that you'll see why sticking a dick to a wet hole wasn't that great accomplishment after all. Once you have nothing to offer her, then there's no point keeping you around or to respect you. Keep that one thing to yourself, the thing that most guys give up freely and you will keep your respect, but women have developed a counter attack to this to protect their fragile ego: friendzone. This way they can still feel superior to you even though they haven't got to your dick. The other is the gay/virgin argument. Women have to rationalize to themselves why you wouldn't have sex with them. They can't stand that they aren't good enough, this is a very basic instinct, because in animal kingdom any male will jump at a chance to fuck a female, unless the female is somehow very defective, disease-ridden or a corpse(though that hasn't been an obstacle in some recorded cases, but that just furthers my point)
So be very casual friends with her, no gifts.. maybe return gifts. But that could escalate. No sex, maybe an occasional coffee(split the check), though that leads to personal questions, thus deepening the bond between you, no dinners, nothing special. She's just a colleague. Women WILL gossip about their men, because that is an instinct as well, to keep a record of quality men and to rank them, so the best man can be chosen.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, fuck only those who you don't know that well, or do not see very often. So they don't have any leverage on you.
Tl;dr: just treat her as your male colleague, no intimate stuff. Just imagine she has a hairy ass and a small smelly unwashed dick full of warts or something. She is of no use to you beyond the professional stuff.
No comments:
Post a Comment