Sex is a form of communication

For me sex is about communication or rather it is a form of communication. It's about conveying my feelings through touch. It's about letting the other person know what I "want" the other person to feel, how I "want" to make them feel, how I feel about them, what I want give them, and at the same time who I truly am, what I want that relationship with that person to be at that moment or how do I feel about it, and it is also about letting the other person tell me how they want to feel.

It is hard express with words that is why it is done by touch. It a much more deeper level communication. Or at least it is to me. Maybe that's just because I'm somewhat kinesthetic and physical person: I enjoy doing things with my body (most of my hobbies have been some sorts of physical activity)

It also tells a great deal about the other person, after all their actions do speak for themselves. If the other person is non-responsive, and just wants me to satisfy them. It tells me that the person is very selfish or values me very little: the person has nothing to give to me (or just doesn't want participate at the moment). The person is only there to receive. This doesn't mean everyone has to try to be something they are not or to project any sort of image of themselves, if you are not into some person then you are not into some person, your actions speak for themselves. At least you are being honest. It's my decision then to put up or not to put up with that sort of behaviour.

The other thing is having sex while drunk or hungover. Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a person who was drunk/hungover.. Yeah.. it's kinda like that.. Sure things can be casual and shallow at times. I myself prefer meaningful things, maybe because there hasn't been an over abundance of those in my life. And I think I would prefer shallow and casual stuff, if had over abundance of deep and meaningful experiences.

Also it isn't about reaching a certain goal, and expecting that from the other. To me it is about enjoying what the other person is giving without any sort of goal or outcome in mind. And of course enjoying that the other person does enjoy what you offer.